"My One Word"

As 2011 began I had a whole list of changes I wanted to make but as usual, the list was long and overwhelming. I was listening to K-Love one day and I heard about "My One Word" and thought, what an amazing concept!


"My One Word" is an experiment designed to move you beyond the past and look ahead. The Challenge is simple: lose the long list of changes you want to make and instead pick ONE WORD. This process provides clarity by taking all of your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single thing. One word focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future.

I spent the month of January trying to choose my word. I had lots of goals and resolutions but it was so difficult to choose just one word that wrapped it all up. I continued to listen to K-Love and every few days I thought, I've got it! This is the perfect word for me, only to wake up the next morning and realize it didn't feel right at all. Toward the end of January I decided to go visit my mom at her new house and help her get settled. (She of course had nearly everything done and her house looked amazing!) This weekend getaway proved to be the perfect outlet for me to find my word. I was truly able to relax for the first time in a long time. The fall had passed in one busy blur which led us into the holidays with the kids home for a month and a new puppy. I felt pulled in so many directions that I had lost my focus. I still had Christmas decorations all over the house and didn't know where to begin to pull it all together. Here I sat in my mom's living room just 3 short weeks after her move and her house looked like an ad for Pottery Barn.

As she and I sat one morning looking over paint colors my word came to me.

ORDER: purify your thinking to cut through the clutter and discover what is most important in your life.

My word allowed me to take all of my goals for 2011 and finally tie them together nicely. What is most important to me? Family, of course. Yet I didn't feel like I was quite the mother or the wife I wanted to me because I couldn't let go of the clutter (whether it be in my house or in my mind). I loved my job but felt distracted because I had too many things going on at one time. In many ways I was overcommitted and I wasn't really doing anything as well as I would like. I felt like cutting through the clutter would allow me to find what was truly most important to me and actually enjoy life rather than feeling like I was always treading water just to stay one step ahead of my very busy life.

So, what came next. Ragnar of course! Just 2 short weeks after I chose my word my sister invited me to join her on this crazy adventure. I had no idea at the time that running would actually help me to live my word. While training for this race with a busy family, job, 2 graduations, a packed season of rugby and my duties as a room parent I had no room for clutter. Running was my out. I sat down with my planner and made a training schedule. It wasn't set in stone but it was a start. I highlighted the days I wanted to train and the distance I wanted to run. I modified the schedule as life got in the way. And now, at the halfway point of 2011, I am FINDING ORDER.

Flow

Yet another week has passed and in just 2 short weeks the race that I have trained for all these months will be nearly over. This past week has been very easy as far as my running has gone. I have put my self-doubt to rest and I am finding flow.

Flow is defined as "a mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement and success in the process of the activity." In flow, the emotions are "positive, energized and aligned with the task at hand."

I have read about flow and thought about it but I didn't really know what it was until these past few days. Suddenly, when I am running things just feel right. Yesterday, I found my pace and settled into my run so quickly that I ran my first mile in about 9 minutes. While that is definitely not a pace I can keep up for long it is something to be proud of. So, as I say goodbye to May and hello to June, I think I am right where I want to be.

13 days and counting...

BoMF

I woke this morning to an amazing day because for once it wasn't raining and it didn't look like it was threatening to rain. The weather the last 2 days has been less than cooperative with my training schedule but I decided to just go with it. However, I was dying to get back out there early this morning so I could enjoy the last few hours with my family who had come for graduation before they all began to travel home. (Thanks Mom, Dad, Robb and Sam!)

I hit the trails and really was noticing how beautiful they were and was again remembering why we chose to buy our house here. We have always loved this area and backing up to the trails was a huge selling point when we bought our house. I crossed the first bridge and was headed under the second when I saw something I had never seen before. There was a man sleeping on the bench next to the bridge. His shoes were laying on the ground next to him and he was curled up in a fetal position on the bench. I wasn't necessarily frightened but just a little startled. It was 7:30 on a Saturday morning and there was an apparent homeless man living practically in my back yard. That definitely gave me something to think about as I continued along. It made me realize how fortunate my family is and made me wonder what caused this young man to end up on a wet, damp park bench in suburban Lenexa. Then I remembered the charity benefitting the race I am running. They are called, Back on My Feet (BoMF). It is a non-profit organization that promotes the self-sufficiency of homeless populations by engaging them in running as a means to build confidence, strength and self-esteem. BoMF does not provide food or shelter, but instead provides a community that embraces equality, respect, discipline, teamwork and leadership. All members join together to move their own lives forward as well as the lives of their teammates. My sister, Jaime, first heard of this organization several years ago and has since began to go on weekly runs with these men. They are adding just as much value to her life as she is adding to theirs. This is a project she is passionate about and she recently raised over $1000 for their cause. She was fortunate enough to meet the founder of this nonprofit organization and shares in her passion to make the world a better place.

I continued running along and saw several other people out enjoying the morning as well. I ran through Mill Creek Park and remembered all the soccer games my children played there when they were younger. I truly feel blessed to be a part of this community, it has a very small town feel in the middle of a large city. As I got deeper into the trails I saw something that caught my eye deep in the trees. There were 2 make-shift tents in the middle of the woods and it appeared that people were sleeping in them. WHAT?!?!? First a man sleeping on a bench and now people sleeping in the woods. I really had to think about that one because I never expected to see that in my neighborhood. This did not appear to be a campsite as there was no campfire or campgrounds. It was just 2 lone tarps strung between the trees with what appeared to be a hammock hanging underneath both tarps. Now I was really thinking. I remembered how a man named Larry had walked away from his life about a year ago and that my son was one of the last known people to have seen him since he sold him gas and a drink at a convenience store just prior to his disappearance in a local park. Weeks later, he walked out of that same park and into the arms of his family who thought they would never see him again. That park and all of the surrounding areas had been searched multiple times and I have no idea how he escaped being detected. What I saw today made me think of the many different reasons why a man would be sleeping on a park bench or 2 others would be sleeping deep in the woods. I prayed that these people would find shelter and peace within themselves. To the young man on the bench, if you are running away, please go home. Your family and friends love you and are worried about you. I believe there is hope, faith and love in this world. I want everyone to find their place. If you need help, please ask for it. And to the apparent campers, I hope last night was just an adventure. If it wasn't, I hope you find shelter in a warm, dry place. I hope you find acceptance and support from your community. I hope you are able to find a way to get Back on Your Feet!!!

I am a Ragnar Warrior!

I'm going to put the last few weeks of running behind me and start this week with a fresh and very positive attitude. After struggling to figure out why the last few weeks of training had gone so poorly I finally figured it out...it was totally MENTAL!!!! I let a negative comment about my time in the Trolley Run discourage me and bring me down.Instead of focusing on distance, I was focusing on time and trying to go faster. That plan was definitely not working for me. I don't care how fast I run, I just care about the fact that I am actually running and enjoying it. These last few weeks I hadn't enjoyed running and that made me feel awful. Definitely time for a new plan!

So last night I picked up my Marathon Training Guide again and read a few chapters. Since I'm not actually running a Marathon I had modified the schedule in the book to accommodate my needs. I had also read ahead when I first bought the book so I hadn't actually looked at it in a while. Fortunately, the first thing I came across was the feeling of discouragement that can be felt during training as the miles increase and the mental preparation starts to slip. First and foremost, you have to have a positive attitude and when your feet feel like lead you need to tell yourself they are as light as a feather. So far, I had been focusing on telling myself, "it's no big deal" but that just wasn't doing it anymore. Another thing I had noticed was that when I was really feeling positive about my running I also felt positive about everything else around me. When I started to get discouraged, my positive attitude really took a hit and I started let the stress of everyday life get to me.

After working three 12's this past weekend and being scheduled for another two on Tuesday and Wednesday I knew that having a great run this morning was the key to setting the tone for the next 32 days. (the race is in 32 day?!?!? How did that happen?) Yesterday, I asked Abby to switch up the music on my iPod because I need music that makes me smile when I run instead of random songs with a great beat. In addition to the songs I asked her to put on she added Adele and The Script as a Mother's Day surprise. (Thank you so much sweet baby girl; you have no idea how much I appreciated it!)

So today I took off running actually believing my feet were as light as feathers and the crazy thing is, it actually worked!!!! I had the best run I'd had in weeks and I can't wait for more. The next step is getting myself to believe that I can actually do this. The book says to tell yourself and everyone else that you are a Marathon Runner. Well, since that's not exactly true in my case, I've decided to tell myself that I am a Ragnar Warrior! I no longer doubt myself, failure is not an option.

I am a Ragnar Warrior...I am a Ragnar Warrior...I am a Ragnar Warrior...